There’s Nothing Left to Clean

Posted: July 28, 2013 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,

This whole space of life is different. I feel caught in between worlds.

I can disguise it during the week because the kids keep my life busy and filled.

It’s almost been two years and it’s still surreal.

For the most part I have kept myself busy on the weekends when I am alone with work or activities. I spent all day yesterday cleaning and now today I find myself mindlessly trolling on facebook and twitter to try and fill the empty space that exists because there is nothing left to clean.

I have great friends, I really do, but they have lives too. Most of them married family lives. Your life changes when you get married and naturally you develop relationships with people that are in a similar life season. It’s a very organic thing and it’s not that you forget your single friends, but it’s different because there are things you can’t relate about, until then they get married and you catch right up.

So what happens when your marriage breaks down? Your shoved into this new awkward phase of life that is never meant to be. It just seems from the silence, to the sparkling floors, to the undecorated ring finger, they all scream, “It’s Not Supposed To Be This Way!”

But yet it is.

  1. writerlyone says:

    I feel exactly the same way. I was trying to explain this feeling to a friend of mine (married, of course!) and she said: but we’re all individuals, I don’t think of myself as just married.
    Neither did I.
    Until I wasn’t.
    Not sure I have any answers for you but it’s helpful to me to know I’m not alone in this. Thank you for sharing.

    • There are so many aspects to this that no one can understand fully unless they go through it. That’s why I started this blog, because I knew there was others out there that could understand. It doesn’t mean others can’t empathize but they can’t fully realize all the implications and feelings that are gone through. Thanks for commenting and making me feel not so alone! I hope you feel that way now too 🙂

  2. […] amandacarrasco on There’s Nothing Left to… […]

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