I’m good

Posted: January 22, 2014 in Uncategorized
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I hate fakers. Always have and always will. That’s not to say that you need to divulge all your cards to every lookyloo, but your authentic with those that matter. People often ask how you are and for the past two years that’s been a loaded question.
To the masses I would smile and say I’m good while being completely laid bare with my closest friends about the turmoil and pain that raged daily.
Lately when people ask, I still say I’m good and I actually mean it. I’m not necessarily all healed or don’t still have the occasional overwhelming wave of pain and loss but there are way more better days than difficult ones.
It’s really awkward when you connect with someone you haven’t for a few years and they have no idea what’s been going on in your life. So you catch them up and they are devastated and ask how you are, but it feels like they expect you to fall apart right then and there and think your a faker when you say your good.
What I want to say is that I know this is new to you, but it’s been my life the past two years- which clearly you haven’t been a part of so don’t expect a big emotional reaction from me right here right now.
But I just give a grimacing smile and move on as best as possible.
Divorce is ugly and painful but it is not something that has to destroy you and that means that one day you will see the sun shinning again. Flowers will smell again. Maybe, just maybe, one day my heart will love again but I’m not rushing that one bit. Right now I’m going to wear my sunglasses, feel the warmth on my face and smell the flowers because I’m good.

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