How much do you love your children?

Posted: September 3, 2014 in Uncategorized
Tags: ,

Divorce is ugliest when there are kids involved. Even in the most respectful of divorces it increases the carnage. They are innocent victims that had no control over the circumstances and no influence to stop the tearing apart that was their family. They are like bystanders at a drive by shooting that end up on the ground, bleeding.

They have to learn how to heal but they are being parented by two people who are incredibly hurting, likely angry, possibly bitter and resentful. Parents who are trying to deal with their own pain and some days can barely lift their own head let alone meet the incredible needs children have, especially hurting children.

I have seen this handled well and I have seen this handled terribly. If you are getting divorced, you can not stop their pain but you can minimize the damage. You have to love your kids more than you hate your x.

You have to ask yourself how much to you want your children to bleed:
When you are seething with anger and want to badmouth your x in front of, or in hearing of your children
When you fight in front of them or court(some fights are worth fighting, make sure you know which is which)
When you set your x up for failure or have an opportunity to help

“I have my mothers mouth and my fathers eyes: on my face they are still together”

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