Let’s get through Christmas

Posted: December 9, 2014 in Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

I am of the mind that single mothers should be given an award every year for decorating at Christmas. A second medal should definitely go to my oldest son because he was at the bottom end of the Christmas tree as it shimmied down from the loft in the shed. What a routine: haul out decorations from the shed loft, put up all the decorations, put back the empty boxes and then do everything in reverse after UGH!
I never had really nostalgic holidays growing up. I’m sure they were fine but they weren’t this magical time of year. I had wanted something different when I had kids. I had hoped to make holidays a real family time. When you have young kids that’s really hard because there’s hardly any energy left to make anything magical – functional is really what I hoped for at that point.
It’s now coming into the time when things should be changing because I get to sleep through most nights and the kids can be reasoned with – well three out of four can anyways. But I still find myself tired, cranky and certainly not making anything magical and it’s because I am doing it all myself.
Single parenting is exhausting let alone trying to single parent well. Sometimes I get angry because my kids deserve better than this. They did nothing wrong and yet they have to divide the holidays between two parents. Two sets of presents will never make up for the lack of one family. Divorce is stupid math. It’s the only time when six divided by two equals ten. We were one family of six and now we are two families of five.
We’re all getting ripped off.
Life is what it is, I know. There just comes a plethora of emotions that have to be re-dealt with like the unpacking of the decorations. Lather, rinse and repeat. Grief, anger and sadness.
It’s not to say I have given up all hope of a magical Christmas, it’s just going to take longer than I thought. Also by magical I don’t mean Pinterest perfect; just less tired me and more of all of us being able to enjoy an activity all together. In the meantime I am trying to set realistic expectations for myself and my kids so at the very least my kids don’t remember this season of our lives with their mom the “Gitch” (as my youngest son calls the green guy who tries to ruin the Who’s Christmas).
*special note as I wrote this my kids were all playing nicely under the Christmas tree until I wrote the last line. At that point my youngest son punched my oldest son in the back for not letting him play and my oldest daughter yelled at my youngest daughter for ripping apart our paper advent calendar. Sigh…still quite a ways off I’m afraid 😉

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