Being Both

Posted: December 12, 2014 in Uncategorized

There are so many things I miss.

Tonight the wind has decided I am not going to sleep. I am laying here watching it whip through the trees like I have never seen it do before. There are very big trees behind my house that could do some decent damage if they came over.

When there were storms he used to be beside me. At a minimum, I knew I wasn’t alone but it also meant there was strength.

When my parents divorced I used to have nightmares that bad men would break into my house and try and hurt my mom and I. I used to imagine how I would try and save us because I knew my mom would have been too paralyzed with fear to help. I had to be the strong one growing up.

Then I got married and I didn’t have to be so strong anymore, or at least not all the time. There was some peace and rest. Now that’s ended and it’s me again being the strong one, all the time. The thing is that I am not just the strong one, sometimes I am also the weak one and the scared one. Inside I am both.

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