Family By Choice

Posted: March 13, 2015 in Uncategorized

My parents have both been married multiple times. They have had kids in the different marriages and married into kids, so asking me how many brothers and sisters I have is a very loaded question. 

Something happened along the way. The marriage between my parent and x step parent may have ended but I have discovered that my relationships did not have to. I still consider my x-step sisters as sisters. I value my x step mom and even my dads first wife who was never my step mom because I am from his second marriage, but she never held that against me. She even helped facilitate my relationship with my older siblings and I will forever be grateful for that. 

Now it’s my turn. My marriage ended and I didn’t know what this was all going to look like. I made some very valuable relationships along the way with his family and I didn’t know how they would work out. I don’t know if it’s the culture in Mexico or if it is just the fact that they are amazing people but they have wholeheartedly embraced me as their own. I think it is definitely the latter reason with possible influences from the former. My brothers in law are not in laws anymore; I call them my brothers. I don’t feel like an outsider and never have. 

My x has been great about the fact that these relationships still exist and also the reality that it means his family gets be an even bigger part of our children’s lives than would be if the relationships ended. It’s a win win scenario for all of us. 

It just affirms that some family is family by title and some family is family by choice. It’s a powerful affirmation of value to be chosen. They now chose me and I chose them. 

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